


Secrecy

by CamelotLady



Category: Wallander (UK TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-23
Updated: 2012-10-09
Packaged: 2017-11-14 20:28:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/519216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CamelotLady/pseuds/CamelotLady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being forced into vacations Lydia Howard, up on advise, took a long trip to Sweden. She never expected to meet him, she never expected to get involved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The bar was crowded, too much for her taste. She had no idea how she got there, she had walked out of the car and let her feet lead her to whatever safe place they could find. She ended up in this smelly, beyond noisy bar. But still she needed the alcohol; her system was looking for something to make her forget the main reason why she had ended up in Sweden of all places.   
  
At some point in the night, a man approached her, smelling like sweat, bourbon and cigarettes. His grey hair was falling on his forehead, his white shirt was damp with sweat and she was half sure it wasn’t because of the weather. Out of disgust, she turns her head away, because she can’t really handle a drunken flirt or any man to come into her for whatever reason. Either way, despite her reaction the man still sat next to the empty stool beside her, smiling. She noticed his white shiny teeth and figured he wasn’t the everyday drunken man, neither did he looked like one. Seems to her, pretty much like her, he was just looking for a way out. 

He watches her in silence as she sips her beer. Internally she wishes she could drink something stronger but she’s driving, her conscience wouldn’t let her break the law either. Her attention was drawn towards the man beside her once more as he shifted on the stool, his head was supported by his arm resting on the counter and his dark blue eyes were slowly closing due to excessive amounts of alcohol maybe or just tiredness. He still continues to make a move on her, his free hand slowly moving towards hers holding the half full bottle until it reaches her fingers. She snaps her hand away quickly, purely by shock and disgust and a little bit of anger. How bold of him to try and approach her when she hadn’t given him a sign of being remotely interested.  
  
“Let me buy you a drink, gorgeous,” the man slurs, moving his drunken body towards her. She immediately moves away, giving him a hint of her answer, but somehow he didn’t quite understood for he still leans forward some more.  
  
“No thank you,” she speaks.

 She was planning on walking away but decides against it. He was the one invading her personal space; he was the one who had been uninvited so she supposed he was the one who had to walk away. Instead she turns around towards her drink, ignoring the man completely. It turns very successful on her behalf for the man stood up, slowly and stumbling, and walked away from his seat and into the door way, walking away from the place. Embarrassed at her rejection probably or just too drunk to even push any further. Either way she releases a breath she didn’t know she was holding and took a long sip of her drink.

It was time to call it a night. This day had been stressful in every single way; first arriving to a town she barely even know, getting adjust to all the green surrounding her, the trip itself had been hell (children crying, delayed trip and a bunch of other things her tired mind didn’t want to remember) the last thing she needed to make matters worse was a drunk flirting with her.  
  
She walks out of the bar slowly, breathing the cool fresh air of her surroundings, taking her time to admire the view before her. It wasn’t the greatest place in the world, at least not to her, but her best friend Alex had suggested it saying it was  _the perfect environment to clean your head and enjoy nature_ , so she took her word on that. There was too much grass for her liking, too many trees to, maybe this was bothering her a great deal since she wasn’t a ‘country side’ type of person having grown and lived in New York city her whole life, her brain had adjust to the buzz and noise of the city. Perhaps she would enjoy it in the days ahead of her, she just had to give it time and that’s all she really had

She gets in the car, turns the radio on (too much silence for her liking) and smiles at the tune  _‘how bizarre’_  the choir repeated over and over again and she couldn’t quite help the memories surfacing her brain as the song played. It makes her heart twitch with loneliness and pain, because the circumstances that brought her here, they were not the ones of pleasure and the melody reminded her of that particular reason. Her heart ached in such an inexplicable way the music did not amuse her any longer and became a bother. Turning it off quickly she makes her way to the speedway, driving off to what now she called home.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

There was nothing Magnus despised the most than a case so early in the morning. He could completely handle the fact that it was a Monday and how much he hated dealing with cases so early in the week, but he was pissed off about not being able to step a foot unto the office before driving off to a dirty looking bar and follow a lead to his next case.

Walking inside, he wrinkles his nose as the mixture of dirt, alcohol and sweat hit his nostrils. It makes his stomach twitch, literally. And the sight was not ideal either; tables piled with empty beer bottles, a few chairs knocked out and dirty looking glasses everywhere. Why someone would like to hang around here for more than a second was beyond his own comprehension. 

“We’re going to speak to the bartender first,” Kurt Wallander speaks, to which Magnus only shrugs. 

“You want me to do it?” He asks receiving a frown from his boss. Of course he would want him to do it. It had always been this way, leave the uninteresting things to the rookie (though he had stopped being a rookie for three years now) the obvious things while the rest had fun. He was getting quite tired of it, to be honest. But then again there wasn’t much left to be done, he loved his job and he wasn’t about to risk it because of one simple complain.

He follows the instructions as he’s been told. The man behind the counter wipes time and time again the same spot, his eyes fix on the police officers walking around the bar taking notes and speaking to costumers. There was not even a hint of surprise in his face though, his years working there might have shown many strange incidents and perhaps this wasn’t so uncommon to him anymore.

“Sir…” Magnus speaks, the man before him still focuses on what was happening behind him and completely ignores him as keeps casually wiping clean the same spot until it became shiny to the point of seeing his own reflection. 

“Ah ah” the man responds and Magnus just can’t help but roll his eyes

“I have a few questions to ask you”

“I already said everything I know to the police”

“Of course. I’m detective Martinsson and…”

“Look” the man turned his attention to Magnus for the first time, throwing his old dirty table cloth aside and sighing heavily “I already told the other cops about the man, alright? Why do I have to repeat myself?” He snapped angrily

“Because I’m not a cop, nor a mind reader.” Magnus responds, “So you will tell me exactly what you told to the officers before me. Do I make myself clear?”

The man stares at him and swallows hard. Didn’t expect he to snap like that but he was getting dizzy with the smell and he was in desperate need to get out, he wasn’t going to do it without the information he needed.

“Fine. The guy had been drinking alone, sitting at the last boot in the corner, maybe for an hour or two. Then a woman showed up, pretty, about five foot six, long brown hair, hazel eyes. She sounded American. The man approached her, offered a drink, the woman said no so he took off. That’s all”

“Did they look like they knew each other?”

“No. She seemed pretty disgusted by him if you ask me”

“Didn’t hear a name I suppose?”

“No, but she paid with a credit card”

Magnus smiled triumphantly, hoping with this new hint they could at least work fast. 

XxxxxxXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“Lydia Howard, from New York city,” Magnus reads the paper as he walks, memorizing the name quickly for future reference. He was almost desperate to just go and find the woman already, she had been the last one to be with the man who had disappeared and became his case. “According to the credit card bill she bought plane tickets to Sweden two days ago, meaning she must have arrived yesterday morning. Maybe she had a rough flight, head to the bar, meets the guy and then left with him. Had a little bit of fun, if you know what I mean?”

“We do.” Anne-Britt rolls her eyes and shakes her head. There was something about the jokes and comments Magnus made that she never really liked. He called her boring, she called him a prick.

“But according to the bartender, he left alone after she rejected him”

“Maybe she changed her mind and followed him?” Magnus continues.

“Or maybe she just went home to sleep. You know not all the woman who frequent bars leave with the first man who flirts with them.”

“Most of them do, it’s called one night stand.” He snaps “Ever heard of them?”

“Ok that’s enough.” Kurt interrupts before the argument escalated even further. His eyes travelled from Ann to Magnus, settling in the last one “find her and bring her in. We need her statement”

“Alright. I’ll do it.” Magnus speaks standing up and gathering the papers as he moves

“I’ll go with you.” Kurt breaks in. Magnus stares at him confused. What did he think he was still the young detective who had no idea what to do or say? He wasn’t a rookie anymore. He didn’t need someone to watch over him. 

“I can handle it on my own.”

“I just don’t want you to go too far with her.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Magnus asks him harshly. Again with the rookie mistakes.

“She’s the only witness we have, the last thing we need is for you to scare her off.” Kurt snaps silent him immediately and moving away quickly. Magnus follows him, not really having another option if they were supposed to solve the case

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She was surprised the small cottage she had found cozy enough for her. She wasn’t the type of woman who would enjoy a day outside the city but soon enough she found herself a little fonder of the town before her. Still she misses her apartment, her dear friend Alex and even her coworkers, part of her was still convinced the trip had been completely unnecessary but the other half thought if she didn’t get out from her home soon she would drive herself crazy with all the memories.

She closes her tired eyes and prepares herself for a good well deserved nap. Just when she was about to drift off to sleep a knock on her door snap her awake. With tentative steps she made her way towards the door, peeking through the small hole in it she saw two men standing side by side, one was considerably older than the other. The younger one, curly and blonde, did not look friendly.

She was tempted to pretend she wasn’t there but the knock on the door turned louder with each passing second so there was no other choice for her but to open the door.

“Yes?”

“Lydia Howard?” The older one asks. She frowns confused. How did the man know her name?

“Yes.”

“I’m inspector Kurt Wallander.” the man introduces himself “He’s detective Magnus Martinsson, we’re with Ystad Police. We need to ask you a few questions”

Right. Cops. Just like she needed for her vacations not to vacations any longer. But she obviously knew what the questions were going to be about; she had been watching the news and recognized the man’s face immediately. 

“Is this about the man who was kidnapped yesterday?” She asks. Detective Martinsson frowns upon her question “I’ve been watching the news”

“Have you?” Magnus asks her, narrowing his eyes and crossing his arms against his chest. 

She just watches him, if he was meant to scare her or intimidate her he was failing miserably. She had been there before, on his same side, trying to look tough and scary upon interrogation, it worked 90 percent of the time the other 10 percent was just bad luck.

“It’s everywhere, beside I’m sure a kidnapping is not what you see everyday around here. Right?”

“Miss Howard you were the last person to speak with Mr. Holland” Kurt speaks “the last one to see him before he banished, did he said something out of the ordinary?”

“Well the only thing he ever said to me was ‘let me buy you a drink’, and I said no then he just left.”

“And you didn’t follow him?” Magnus asks

“Why would I?” She asks strange at the question. “I didn’t even know the guys name, why I would I want to leave with him at all?” 

“It happens.” Magnus speaks, shrugging at how normal his inquiry sounds. Lydia was offended, to say the least, just what kind of woman did he think she was?

“Well it doesn’t happen to me.” she snaps, tempted to slap him “I’m not that kind of woman.”

“That was not what detective Martinsson was implying, miss.” Kurt interrupts staring briefly at Magnus. There was no need to say he would be told off soon. “You are the only witness to what happened.”

“Wait. Does that mean I’m a suspect?” She stares at both men before her, exchanges looks from time to time, shocked and dismayed at the information they had shared with her. It looked like one of her nightmares was coming true she had to pinch herself briefly. It looked so damn very real.

She was in fact being questioned by two officers about, a man who disappeared and she had sadly come across for only five minutes. Apparently that was enough to make her suspect. 

“As I told you before you’re the last person who spoke to Mr. Holland…” Kurt says

“Barely spoke to him.” she responds

“What he said to you might have a great deal of importance.”

“How can he asking me for a drink could be important?”

“Why don’t you let us decide that?” Magnus speaks, harshly. Impatience written on his handsome face

“Does that even make me a suspect of anything?” She asks. The two men apparently had no answer for her question for they looked at each other highly confused and uncomfortable “in fact am I even arrested?” 

“No.” Kurt speaks, shaking his head making Magnus sigh in frustration   
  
“Look, I arrived here a day ago, which can be confirmed with my credit card bill that I assume you already got” she got no response, just that inquisitive look from the younger man.” I only stopped to have a beer after the terrible horrible trip I had, the man approached me and offered me a drink. I said no and he walked away. There, mystery solved” she speaks quickly. Magnus shifts his weight from one foot to the other, somehow not really buying what she was saying.

“Alright…” Kurt speaks, walking backwards slowly and motioning to Magnus to do the same, getting ready to leave “I’m sorry to bother you Miss Howard, please if you remember anything at all don’t hesitate to call us.

“Will do.” she speaks, her eyes suddenly glued to the younger man. He didn’t trust her; she knew that and it made her feel uneasy inside. If it wasn’t because of the inspector he would have stayed there, staring at her.

“Time to go, Magnus.” Kurt makes him snap out and he follows him, taking slow steps “Have a nice day Miss.”

Magnus was pissed, granted, if it was for him he would have taken the woman into custody and get the truth out of her. But this wasn’t his case, it wasn’t his call, it wasn’t his decision. Still, even if an arrest hadn’t occurred, he had the strange feeling this would not be the last time he’ll see her.  
  
TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Italics means flashback.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, for those who are reading (still) I changed Patrick's name to Darrick. I didn't like the name in the first place so...

It was the second time in the day that Magnus was totally and utterly pissed off. First, it was the woman who walked in and then out in a blink of an eye, even if as he thought was the only witness and possibly suspect to the case. Second, they were getting nowhere to be honest. Nothing absolutely good and he felt completely lost. He hated the feeling of not knowing where to begin, where to take the first step, what direction he should turn. 

The room felt silent as they sat together on the conference room, each lost in their own thoughts. 

“We should have brought her in,” Magnusspoke, dropping the pen he was holding in his hand harshly on the table. His coworkers stared at him, blank expression on their faces. Except Kurt, he looked pissed, though to Magnus, that was his everyday life for he always seemed to be mad at him for whatever reason.

“Under what suspicion?” Kurt asks him.

“I don’t know, she is hiding something…”

“That’s not enough reason and you very well know it,” Kurt says, still with the anger written on his face. Maybe it wasn’t him; maybe he was as angry as Magnus for not being able to get far with all this.

“She was the last person who spoke to the man, right? Maybe she saw something.”

“The bartender said the exact same thing she explained to the both of you,” Anne interrupts. “I don’t believe she did something. Perhaps she was just at the wrong place, at the wrong time”

He was frustrated, but it wasn’t just him. It was everybody. They were reflecting his feelings because they were stuck in the middle of a disaster and there was no way to get out of it.

“Well there’s gotta be something, right?” Magnus speaks, sighing heavily. He was getting really tired of everything.

“Talk to his employees,” Kurt says

“Again?” 

“Yes, again. What do you have a better idea?” 

“I guess not.”

“Good, go.” 

He gets up without saying a word, though there were lots of things running through his head - not nice words towards his boss. He decides it is better to stay in silence and do as he’s been told, ever the good boy, just follow instructions properly even if that means he has to walk the same steps the police did and ask the same question as well. 

“We would have solved this case by now if it were mine,” he mouthed on his way out towards his car. 

He stops midway when he saw a familiar face, though she was still quite distant he could recognize her. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_There was blood everywhere. It was the only thing she could see and taste, even in her mouth. Pain clouded her brain, and tears turned her eyes blurry. She was so lost, she couldn’t see where she was and there were no signs that could show her whereabouts. There was one thing; a bright light hitting her eyes, enable her to open her eyes and see clear._

_There were voices._

_Calling her name, begging her to open her eyes._

_Then she remembered._

_“Darrick…” She whispered. Blood spilling her mouth, the metallic taste in her tongue._

_Alex. Her friend. Her long black almost blue-ish hair cascading down her slim frame, her brown eyes staring at her with sorrow and pain. She  was standing in front of her, tears streaming down her face. She made soothing sounds, squeezed her hand and sometimes caressed her hair like she had done many times before when cried for whatever reason. This time it felt different because she wasn’t crying. She just couldn’t understand._

_“I’m sorry,” her friend whispered, choking on a sob._

_“Darrick,” she repeated, swallowing the metallic taste once again._

_“I’m so sorry…”_

_“She feels an excruciating pain in her hart that matches the physical pain she feels. Every inch of her body is hurting. She’s still dwelling with the overwhelming sensation as she hears a soft sound, as if it’s coming from a distance. Her attention is quickly diverted to her side, where a man is tapping at her window, watching her with mid curiosity. Taking a deep breath, she wiped the sweat from her face and forced herself to calm down. It was bad enough that she hardly had any sleep; she didn’t need to turn her nightmares on to daydreams also._

  
She rolls down the window and the man steps backward a little. He waits for her to speak or to walk out of the car and he looked less than pleased to see her; she was expecting such thing since their last encounter hadn’t been the most pleasant.

She chooses the last option, and walks out of the car slowly greeting the man with a smile, one to which he doesn’t return. It is a pity; such a handsome man but looked so bitter and sad.

“Detective Martinsson, how lovely to see you.”

“Miss Howard, I didn’t expect to see you here. Are you lost?”

“No, I was… you know? Driving around and I fell asleep in my car. Happens all the time,” she was lying, obviously, and shehoped the lie wasn’t written on her face.

“In front of the police office?” He knew she was hiding something. His job as a detective had taught him to read peoples body language, to learn, by just how they were standing, whether they were lying or speaking  the truth. She was hard to read, but not impossible.

“Yeah…”

“What are you really doing here?” He asks again, kindly. For whatever reason, Kurt’s words about him being rude and harsh came into surface and if he was to find out the truth about the woman, he had to be kind. 

“Nothing I…” There was no point for her to lie again. She wasn’t doing anything wrong, it was just her mind that didn’t let her be. “I just wanted to know things… look I know it makes no sense to you and it might probably look like I’m guilty of everything but I need to know about the man.”

“Why? Why do you need to know? Why is it bothering you if you said you had nothing to do with him?”

“Because I was the last person who saw him and maybe, if I had taken that drink with him, none of this would have happened.”

He understood her better now.He could have called it a guilty conscience, the woman being here because she did something wrong but it wasn’t that at all. She felt responsible for the man’s fate and, somehow, it made him feel bad about  the way he treated her because he had been creating those feelings as well.

“We haven’t found anything on him yet. As a matter of fact, I was about to speak to his employees at the wine factory.” He felt the need to explain himself for whatever reason.

“Can I help you?” She asks and Magnus was more than confused at her request. She was a civilian, civilians never got involved in anything. “Please, let me go with you.”

“Of course not,” Magnus  replied. “I already spoke more than I should. Now go home.”

Hemade his way towards his car, turning his back on her as he took the keys out of his pockets.

“Wait!” She screams to call for his attentionwhich she succeeded for he had slowly turned around to look at her. A puzzled expression on his face. 

“What?”

But then she did something that shocked him and left him frozen on his spotshe held something shiny in her hand; it was a badge. A foreign golden badge and he understood the sudden interest and her offer of help.

“A detective…”

TBC.


	3. Chapter 3

She was being stared at by five sets of eyes. They were glued to her, watching her like hawks and she was starting to feel quite uncomfortable by it.

After she had confessed to Magnus who she was, he had dragged her inside (gently, to her surprise) and called the members of the office to which had also told who she was. That led them to stare blankly at her

“Why didn’t you tell us about this when we spoke to you?” Kurt asks her, frowning confused and bewildered

“Because you never asked.”

“Of course we walk around asking people if they’re cops,” Magnus interferes. She side glances him, trying to decipher whether he was upset or not. Apparently he was a little bit shocked; at least he looked like it

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was important,” she explains

“What are you doing in Ystad?” Magnus asks 

“Vacations,” she omits the ‘forced vacations’ because she just doesn’t want to explain not remember about it. 

“Some vacations you’re having,” Magnus says smiling at her for the first time. She found he looked quite attractive when he did so, his whole face lighted up while grinning. She was tempted to tell him he should do that more often. She found herself smiling in return.

“I want to help,” she asks, focusing on Kurt for a brief second, knowing he was the only who could accept her or reject her. But he was shaking his head before she could push any further 

“I don’t think that would be proper,”

“Why not?” She asks

“Because is not your jurisdiction. You have no authority here…” Kurt explains and she knew he was hundred percent right. She was still desperate to assist them in any way she could even if she had to beg to do so.

“I could be like a consultant,” she pleaded “I don’t even have to arrest anyone.” 

The team looked at each other in silence, as if they were considering accepting her among them, except Magnus, he for whatever reason did not look very happy or pleased to have her around.   
“Fine.” Kurt speaks. Lydia had to control herself not to jump with joy. “We could use the extra help. You’re with Magnus.”

“What?” Magnus yelped, upset. “Come on Kurt…”

“She could be of great assistance.” Kurt speaks, ignoring Magnus protests. 

“But…”

“No buts, from now on detective Howard is working with us. Wait, she’s working with you, to be more specific.” Kurt speaks. Magnus turns briefly his eyes towards her and even if she believes, for a second, he might be feeling somewhat sorry for being so harsh with her all she can see is anger. 

He moves away from the team, taking quick steps towards the door and she follows him outside, to the parking lot and watches him with mid curiosity. 

“You have an attitude problem, you know?” She speaks

“You don’t say,” he whispers opening the driver’s side of the car. She stands in the other side, watching as he struggles with the keys.

“Whatever problem you have with your boss is not my fault.” she speaks, Magnus rises his head enough to look at her. She was right, she was watching a show she did not understand but still did not make him feel any less angry

“Look can you just get in the car so we can go?” Magnus speaks still angry. 

“No until you tell me what your problem is.” she insists. She figured if they were to work together he could at least tell her if she had done anything wrong.

“You want to know what my problem is?” He asks angrily, closing the door with a loud thud. “I’m tired of being treated like a rookie; I’m tired of people trying to take over MY case…”

“You think I’m trying to take this away from you?” She asks a little bit confused by the outburst. “I offered my help, you could have said no…”

“Fine. I don’t want your help.” he replies quickly “in fact I think you should take your badge, your suitcases and go back to NY. We don’t need you here.”  
  


She watches him in silence, something felt heavy in her chest, like pain or sadness. 

 _“Go home Lydia, nobody needs you here. Take your things and get help. Soon.”_  

Her vision was clouded with tears; she blinked a few times and wiped them away quickly as they fell. The words coming out of his mouth, the way he spoke bough all the sad memories she had tried to avoid many times before. Magnus was suddenly taken aback by her reaction, he didn’t know his words of anger could affect her so much, it was bizarre and uncomfortable.

“Fine. I’ll leave you alone.” she whispers, walking towards her own car with slow steps, her body suddenly not able to move any faster. Too many memories, too much pain. 

He felt bad about her because he was blaming her for Kurt treating him like a rookie when she had absolutely nothing to do with all this, hell they barely even knew each other and he was already treating her like shit. She didn’t deserve it; it was out of line and uncalled for. 

“I’m sorry.” he whispers to her as she walks away. She stops midway and slowly turns around, there were no more tears, he felt relived somehow “I shouldn’t have said that. I would love for you to help me.” He wasn’t the one to beg, to anyone, but he felt guilty enough to do it now and to top it all he hated making women cry.

She smiles. Her hazel eyes shining with joy, he suddenly felt something strange within his heart. A weird sentiment he hadn’t felt in a while, or had deprived himself from feeling, as if he could make him smile even in the saddest days. He swallows the sudden lump forming on his throat and shifts on his spot because he needs to move somehow, he needs to concentrate in something else rather than her eyes on him.

“We should go …” she speaks; the silence between them is taking its toll on her as well. She moves towards the car, sighing heavily (she just can’t afford to have a crush on anyone, not now not ever) and feels Magnus follow her. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
  
The radio was on as he drives; neither of them saying a word, both transfixed in what was happening outside. Magnus has his eyes fixed on the road before him, while she stares at the green landscape outside. It’s beautiful, she can’t deny that, even it wasn’t her ideal place to stay, the sight before her brings calm and peace to her troubled heart. But no matter how soothing the view was she was still feeling rather uneasy at the silence, even if the tune created a cool and calm atmosphere she couldn’t handle him not speaking or not paying attention. There was also this strange feeling inside her heart and she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. 

“So can you tell me about the case?” She asks. Magnus bright blue-green eyes focus on her for a brief second, to the turn his head once again towards the road.

“The victim’s name is Klaus Holland; he’s the head chef from ‘The Wine Factory’, an Italian restaurant. He’s married; wife is expecting their first child. He’s originally from Australia, arrived here ten years ago” he speaks by heart. He talks as if he had been reading the case a million times over, memorizing the whole thing

“Who reported him missing?”

“His wife. She said she called him at ten, and then she called him again at ten thirty with no answer. He was never home late so she panicked and called the police”

“Couldn’t he have gone away with friends?”

“We thought about it, but she said they never went away without one another. And even if he did he would have called her to let her know. In this case he didn’t”  

“Did they have an argument?”

“Not that I know of, she didn’t mention it when Kurt spoke to her” 

“So the man basically disappeared?” 

“It looks like it. The woman is desperate; I mean I understand where it comes from. She’s pregnant and worried something wrong might have happened to her husband. Wouldn’t you be worried to?” 

“I would have probably freaked out by now. But he’s been gone for a couple of hours, right? Which means, seeing how wasted he was the last time I saw him, he could have fall asleep somewhere and forgot to call” 

“Wait, Where here” He speaks, interrupting their conversation quickly, parking the car outside a white looking cottage, with a white fence and a shiny sign hanging above. It looked old but beautiful, the trees around gave everything a nice vintage touch. 

He walks out of the car, taking quick steps towards the restaurant and she follows him suit. It might have looked like he had been ignoring her but she figured he had been working solo a great deal of time that he wasn’t used to actually being with someone. She wasn’t going to judge or criticize for she had done the same a while ago, when she felt she was pure danger to everyone who dared coming any closer.   
  
The restaurant was neat and as clean as it should be, the tables were carefully arranged to create a path in the middle. Just like outside it looked vintage, the tables were dark brown and the curtains were a light color that matched with the tables and cloths. There were a few plants that gave a nice touch to the scenario.

“You should talk to the girls I talk to the boys” Magnus suggests, looking around like she had been doing. 

“Will do”

She moves away, towards the back following a waitress as she takes a tray with dirty plates and empty cups inside a room. The door closed behind her, either way Lydia follows her in. Inside the kitchen people moved quickly, pulling plates and pots out of counters. She watches them as they moved gracefully, at their own rhythm, if someone else would have been watching they would have thought it was a complete chaos, but it wasn’t. They followed their own beat, in sync with one another. 

Suddenly she felt out of place. All eyes had turned towards her, being the stranger among them and she waved a hand as every single soul stopped for a second. It looked like a scene taken from a movie and Lydia just couldn’t help but smile at how ridiculous the sight looked like. 

“I’m sorry to interrupt.” She speaks.  “I’m Detective Howard and I need to speak with you, all of you about Klaus Holland” 

The few people surrounding her exchange sad glances. A blonde woman step in front of her and reached for Lydia’s hand, shaking it politely. 

“I’m Jazmine, second head chef. I worked with Klaus” the woman speaks, the limb forming on her throat as she spoke was not dismissed by her.  

“Do you mind if I ask you a couple of questions?” 

“Not at all” 

She moves towards the back, to an old dirty looking hallway with half full trashcans and trash bags thrown haphazardly around the floor. Lydia makes a face because one thing she can’t stand is the smell of trash, or smelly food. There was something about strong smells that really bothered her, one would think she being around dead bodies all the time would get her used to hard smells. It didn’t. She usually avoided all the dead bodies and smelly things. 

She was shaking. The blonde woman was shaking before and Lydia couldn’t tell if it was because of the little breeze or nervousness. She shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other and her shaking hand took a cigarette from her pocket. 

“Do you mind if I smoke?” she asks

“No, go ahead” 

She lights the cigarette with trembling hands, taking on sip after the other, releasing the smoke slowly. She watches her as she plays with it between her fingers, looking around her and taking a deep sigh as her attention was drift towards Lydia. 

“He is good man, you know?” the woman speaks.  “I know most people would say he is rude, a bit harsh perhaps, but he was only doing his job. He had to be tough otherwise thing would never work out around here”

“When was the last time you spoke to him?”

“On Friday, It was my last shift and he was supposed to replace me while I was gone with my daughter for the weekend”

“Did he seem strange to you? Did he say or do something that seemed odd in a way?” 

“No. No he was just…Klaus” she sighs again, throwing her half smoked cigarette aside “Funny, clever, a little bit of a prat Klaus”

“You think he could have gone somewhere?”

“Not without Tania. Never without her. They are inseparable”  

“Thank you for your time miss,” Lydia speaks, shaking the woman’s hand before moving away, ending the conversation quickly. “if you remember anything, any details please don’t hesitate to call us ” 

The woman nods slowly and Lydia makes a small attempt on walking away when she heard her calling her name again. She stood blankly staring at her, as if she were trying to remember something she hadn’t thought before but Lydia was getting impatient because suddenly the girl refused to speak for whatever reason.

“I…just thought about something, maybe it’s nothing” Jazmine says in a low voice, looking at the floor below her. “He did something he hadn’t done before, when we said goodbye, he gave me a hug. I don’t know if it’s important but he hadn’t done that before.”

Lydia nods, retrieving her steps back inside with one more look to the woman. She seemed to be grieving despite the nonexistent information about the man’s whereabouts, she looked like she was suffering inside but had managed to control the tears from coming. Then she wondered if that small probably meaningless gesture was more than just a friendly goodbye.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

She sits in the desk with a half eaten donuts in her hand, her legs resting on the chair before her. Kurt was reading the information she and Magnus had found with the victims coworkers, which wasn't much, while she was still thinking about what the woman had said about the hug. It was probably nothing, probably a lame detail for others, but she had learned to take into account every single tiny information she could find.

"Why are you sitting on my desk?" 

She snaps her head up to find Magnus with his hands on his waist, eyebrows high in question.

"What?"

"There's something we call 'chair', you need to learn how to use it" he pulls the chair from her feet and grabs her arm to make her move down from his perfectly neat desk. She was so used to do it in her office she had forgotten she was not home anymore

"You can be quite harsh sometimes." she protests.

"So I've heard." he whispers. Their argument gets suddenly interrupted by Kurt, who watches the exchange in silence, a soft smile creeping on his face.

“Ok, so what have we got from his coworkers? Any information that might come in handy?” Kurt asks. 

“Just that he was the sweet, sometimes harsh boss. Nothing new,” Lydia explains. Then she frowns when she remembers what Jazmine, the second head chef, had told her before she left the restaurant “Although…”

“Although what?” Magnus asks.

“The woman I talked to, she said he did something that seemed odd to her. He gave her a hug” 

Magnus and Kurt exchange glances for a few seconds and remain quiet. 

“And?” Magnus questions her. 

“It was odd. She said he had never done that before”

“Maybe he was just saying goodbye” 

“Or maybe he was saying goodbye meaning he was never coming back” Lydia states and she notices it’s the second time Magnus frowns in the last twenty minutes.

“You think he left, just like that?”   
“Think about it. It’s been more than twelve hours, right? If this was a kidnap a ransom would have been set” she speaks quickly, Magnus and Kurt both paying close attention to her words. “But it hasn’t happen, which leads me to the other point. Maybe the guy just got tired decided to leave for a few days, be away from his family and friends.”

Magnus felt like suddenly he was out of his mind, because everything she had just said made perfect sense. 

“If it’s true, what you just said, where could he have gone?” Magnus asks, taking a sit in the empty spot she had left on top of his desks. She eyes him and smile softly. 

“Maybe he’s staying a friend’s house?”

“Wife says the only friends he had were work related” Kurt says “and you already spoke with them and none have given indication of knowing where he might have gone”

“With some relatives maybe?” 

“He’s an only child and his parents live in Australia” 

She stares at a blank space at the wall in deep concentration. The room felt silent all of a sudden, having no clues and no leads to follow they were literally lost. It was as if she could hear a clock ticking in the background and the sounds, every small tiny sound, intensifies with each passing moment because the silence was just unbearable. 

Until Ann Britt walks in with quick steps. She stops in front of them, taking a deep breath to calm her rapid heart. Before she even speaks Lydia knows by the look on her face, that she had information she wanted to share. 

“We found his car”   
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was hot outside. Lydia hadn’t notice until her sweater was becoming quite a bother. She was also tired. The lack of sleep was not taking its toll on her so much she could barely make her feet follow Magnus as he led the way towards the abandoned car. The nightmares that woke her up in the middle of the night were not helping her at all and she suppressed a yawn barely covering her mouth with her hand.

“A man found it and reported it to the police” Ann Britt speaks as she walks alongside Kurt and Magnus. Lydia had stayed behind, walking slowly, but close enough to hear “we checked it and it belongs to Klaus Holland. We also found his cellphone crushed at the side"

She waves an evidence bag with what looks like a dismantled phone. Lydia walks towards the car, examine it closely. 

Lydia steps back taking slow steps towards the middle of the road, exchanging looks between the parked car at the side and the empty road, frowning in confusion. The team watches her movements with equal confusion. She retrieves her steps towards the others, shaking her head slowly.

"It doesn't make sense" she whispers to no one in particular. 

"What doesn't make sense?" Magnus asks her.

"Why would he park his car in the middle of the road?" Lydia asks him and he just stares at her in silence. 

"Maybe he saw...something?" Magnus asks not fully convinced with his inquiry at all. 

"And stopped right here?  In the middle of the night?" Lydia speaks "besides I see no houses nearby, if he actually saw someone why would he leave his car here and smash his phone in the process?"

Magnus knew it was a good question and it made sense after all he had seen. Which did not simplify the case at all; in fact it made it hundred times more confusing. Was it a disappearance or something much more complicated?

Then a phone rang behind him and his attention was diverted towards Kurt and the alarming and sad expression on his face. He hangs up the phone after a few seconds, sighing heavily towards the team. 

"A ransom has been set" he whispers 

Xxxxxxx

She hates this part of the job. She hates everything that has to do with talking to the families or dealing with sharing bad news. Mainly because she was emotional, because she had a hard time dealing with the sadness of her own let alone someone else’s pain 

Yet now she was heading towards the victims house to speak with a grieving and teary eye widow. Her insides were shaking; she remembers all too well what it meant to hear the bad news of someone you care being hurt. It was all too much. 

_'He's gone...Darrick is dead'_

"...Lydia" 

She snaps her head towards the voice, swallowing again as the tears were threating to fall. 

"Are you going with us?" Magnus asks. She hesitates whether to say yes or no, the professional side of her made her say yes. 

"Yeah sure" she whispers and follows him as he walks out of the car. 

They both follow the trail of sobs and tears, that's how they know where the widow is. Her head is resting on someone's shoulder, her face covered by her long blonde hair and her cries were muffled by the shushing sounds the person holding her was doing. 

"Miss Holland?" Kurt speaks and the woman rises her head long enough to look at Kurt. Her eyes were puffy red, clear indication she had been crying for too long.

He walks towards her with tentative steps, testing the waters as if she could snap the wrong way with him for some reason. She sniffs loudly as he sits in front of her, on the table before her. 

"I'm really sorry to bother you madam..."

"He called" she cries, the person next to her males small circles on her back as she speaks, trying to comfort her somehow but she still kept crying. "Someone. And he...he told me if I didn't give him the money Klaus would die" she finishes, covering her face with her hands and sobbing again.

"Did he...gave you due date?" 

"He...no, he...he didn't" she speaks and Kurt exchanged looks with his team frowning in confusion. She notices and stares at them, worried. "Is that bad? Does that mean...oh God he's dead isn't he? Oh my God" 

She cries loudly, holding to the person next to her and sobbing uncontrollably. None of them were sure if not having a due date was good or bad or even if it meant the man might be dead. 

Lydia steps aside, taking quick steps outside. Her chest tightens as the cries of desperation from the woman inside reached her hears. Suddenly the memories of her own pain she had suffered no longer than a year ago came rushing to her brain and heart. She had done the same, she had cried and yelled until her lungs ached and her eyes were sore. 

Her heart rate increased rapidly, the lack of air indicating she was falling again and there was no one to hold her...

"Hey, you alright?" Magnus reaches for her just in time, as if he had predicted she was aching. 

"Yeah. I'm fine" she lies, praying her pain didn't show "what happened?" 

"Kurt is going to send someone to trace the call in case we can find the exact location"

"And what do we do in the mean time?" 

"Wait, I guess.” 

She nods slowly, turning her face towards the sunset yawning in the process. The tiredness reached her body again, this time unable to ignore it or suppress it.

"You need to rest" Magnus tells her, standing beside her and eyeing her. She remains in silence because she can't protest when he's right. "Come on I'm taking you home"

He holds her arm and at this point she just too tired to protest. He's being extremely gentle too which adds something extra and special.

Xxxxxxxxxx

By the time they reach her hotel the sun had already set. She was fighting hard not to fall asleep but Magnus' car was extremely soft and warm and it made it a little bit complicated. Still she didn’t and all the way she focuses on watching the landscape passing before her eyes.

He stops the car and she feels suddenly fully awake. There's the uncomfortable silence again, he stares at some lost point in front of him and she so absorbed at watching the outside of her cottage looking hotel. The reason why she had chose this particular hotel is because it remind her of her grandmothers old countryside house, where she used to spend the greatest moments of her life.

"So, for how long are you staying?" Magnus suddenly asks. She snaps her head towards him for a moment.

"Ummh for a few weeks, maybe two"

"Are you homesick?" 

"No. Truth be told I haven't had time to miss anyone" not that she really had anyone to miss and the person she was craving to see was not even alive. "Anyways, thanks for the ride" she speaks quickly, flashing a soft smile at Magnus 

"No problem" he says smiling of his own

"So...I'll see you in the morning?"

"Of course"

She smiles again and walks out of the car, taking leisurely steps towards her cottage. Before she could reach to her door he calls her name and she turns around slowly as Magnus walks gradually out. 

"I just..." He seems nervous, she notices and she's confused by his demeanor. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I know I wasn't very polite towards you when you first arrived and I wasn't being fare so...I'm sorry" 

She smiles widely and Magnus seems to release a breath he was holding at seeing her reaction. Then, before she even has time to process what she was doing, she breaks the remaining space between them and drops a light kiss on his cheek. A way of somehow telling him all had been forgiven. He's taken aback by her movement but manages to smile nonetheless.

"Apology accepted" she whispers, her face still a few inches away from him. 

They stare at each other, caught up in their own moment. Magnus finds himself reaching for her hand slowly but something snaps inside of her, something strangely close to regret, and she moves away before there could be any contact. Her eyes cast down, sighing as she pulls away gradually not even thinking about looking up at him.

"Well...thanks for the ride" she whispers making her way towards her door as Magnus watches her in silence "I’ll see you in the morning" 

She walks the remaining steps quickly without even waiting for his answer and closes the door behind her.

Magnus just stands outside, resting on the close door of his car still not quite understand why the sudden change of mood from her. 

"Goodnight Lydia" he whispers as the door closes with a loud thud.

TBC

 


	5. Chapter 5

She leans against the door of her new residence, gasping for breath. She really didn’t know what came to her; with Magnus what she had done was as unexpected to her as it was to him. It was an impulse, something she suddenly could not control and she realized what she had done before it was too late. And the way he watched her, his blue eyes deep within her soul and it scared her beyond reason. She had forbid herself from feeling anything towards someone after the tragedy that hit her heart; she wasn’t ready to feel attached to anyone fearing she might lose them the same way she had lost him.

Her hand went directly towards the silver chain hanging around her neck; A Saint Michael’s medal.  

 _“I know I should do this properly and I will, soon” he had whispered to her, his hand traveled towards his pocket, holding a necklace between his fingers “but in the meantime I want you to have this”_  

The necklace hang around her neck, the tip of her fingers slowly caressed the medal between her fingers and the memory hit her like a bucket of cold water. The way he had suddenly gave one of his precious belongings to her without hesitating (a family jewel that she later knew belonged to his grandfather) the kiss they shared full of promises of a new life. But with that memory came the pain and sadness, the feeling of her heart and her world crashing around her. How suddenly the happiness she had felt transformed into a world of sorrow and emptiness. 

Tears fell down her cheeks and a loud sob escaped her lips, she felt herself fall apart once again…then her phone rang and for a minute she hesitate whether she should answer or not because if it was work related she wasn't sure if she could function in her current state of mind. Until she saw the name on the screen and sighed in relief. 

 _“Baby girl!_ ” the woman on the other line greeted her cheerfully. Alex, her best friend and life savior. If it hadn’t been for her she would have died, literally, from the pain and sorrow within her heart.

“Hey sweetie” she whispers.  Pulling away from the door and quickly wiping away her tears, swallowing a lump on her throat because she didn’t want to tell her friend she had been crying

 _“I tried to call you before but I figured you might be busy_ ” Alex speaks _“so, how do you like Ystad? It’s nice, isn’t it?”_  

“Yeah….it is” she lied. She hadn’t pay close attention to the landscape because of her being busy with the case but she wasn’t about to tell that to her friend for she knew what her reaction would be. 

 _“Did you see The Church of Saint Peter? It’s the most beautiful place ever”_ Alex speaks cheerfully again and Lydia found herself agreeing though she had no idea what her friend was referring too.

“It is…” Lydia whispers lying down on her bed, suddenly feeling exhausted (and a little guilty)

 _“And the gardens are lovely as well_ " Alex speaks and Lydia feels so lost she doesn't know if she can keep lying.

"Yes, of course" she whispers, rubbing a hand over her tired face. A moment of silent was set; probably Alex was waiting for her to speak, to which she didn't. 

 _"You're the worst liar ever_ ” Alex speaks. It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. A very accurate one. 

“Alex…”

_“You haven’t called me so I assume you’re busy with something. So, what have you been up to?”_

“Nothing.” Lydia lies because she really cannot tell her friend what she had been doing, especially since she had made a promise not to get herself in trouble. “Just sleep and…eat.”

 _“Sleep and eat?”_ Alex asks not fully convinced of her friend’s answer. _“You could have made up something better, Lydia. Don’t forget that I’ve known you for years”_

She was right. They have been friends for more than ten years, roommates and confidants. Alex has been there for her when she needed her the most, when she lost track she was there to save her and to bring her up, when tragedy had hit her hard she had been there to hold her hand and tell her everything was going to be alright.

"Promise me you won't get mad" Lydia tells her though she knew it would happen anyways 

_"Well don't make me get mad..."_

She paced around the room, walked in circles like those times when she didn't know how to explain something clearly and sighed as she took a few steps.

"I've been...working with the Ystad Police" she speaks quickly and the other line falls into silence. She hopes and prays her friend’s reaction would be good because she can't really stand Alex getting mad at her for her actions, once again. 

She is not the type of woman who depends on what people think about her, or live under someone else's expectations but with Alex it was different. She cares, a lot, whether she agrees with what she thinks about what she does or doesn't. It is as if seeking for her approval was more important than her own decisions.

_"Did you get in trouble again?"_

"No...I mean sort of, kind of"

 _"Lydia what did you do?"_  

"Nothing! I mean, they thought I was a suspect of a man's disappearance..."

_"A suspect?"_

"Yeah but I'm obviously not" she responds "so instead of seriously complain against them I offered my help"

_"Ok I could mad at you right now, but let me ask you something. Does this make you happy? Working for the police, I mean"_

"Yes. It clears my head from thinking about...things" she whispers the final word, unable to actually say what she was referring to. Alex knew very well though. "Except there's this guy. I don't think he likes me"

 _"There's a guy?"_ She could sense she was amused. Her tone had changed all of a sudden to one full of eagerness and cheerfulness. Lydia knew what it all meant.

"Yes. His name is Magnus and he's a detective"

 _"Oh nice you have something in common_ " Alex speaks cheerfully

"No" Lydia stops her, knowing well her intentions. Ever sense her lost, she had meant for her to move on, meet someone else and be happy. But the pain was still fresh in her heart and she couldn't bring herself to even look at another man. "Besides I already told you he doesn't like me" 

 _"Maybe he doesn't like you know, considering you were a suspect. Perhaps by the end of this case he will."_ Alex suggested _"who knows maybe you'll become really good friends"_

"The way I see it I doubt it" she whispers.

_"Lyd, I know you hate when I ask this but are you taking your meds?"_

She forgot about them, completely. She hated taking pills in the first place, hated being medicated but most importantly she hated to remember the reason why she was taking two sets of pills, that reason lead to one incident that six months ago made her question her own life.

"I'm fine Alex. I told you before I left I don't need pills..."

_"The doctor said..."_

"I know what he said" she responds harshly and immediately regrets it as her friends falls silent "I know this is supposed to make me feel better but they don't. I can't function properly when I'm in them and I need my sanity to do my job"

_"I just don't want you to do anything stupid again, Lydia"_

She didn't think trying to commit suicide was something stupid. 

"I won't. I promise" she says truthfully, smile despite the fact her friend couldn't see her. Hopefully she would felt it on her voice 

 _"I miss you"_ Alex whispers, her voice full of melancholy _"this precinct is not the same without you_ "

"I'm pretty sure the guys are more than happy without me" by the guys she meant her coworkers. The ones who once treated her like she belonged to a mental institution rather than a police office. The ones who spoke behind her back and created rumors about her mental health. The ones who waved her goodbye with smiles on their faces when she had been sent on forced vacations by her boss. 

_"Well I don't care what they say, you belong here and even if it will take a lifetime for them to admit it, we would have never solve any of this cases without you"_

"Thank you babe" she loved the way her friend tried to cheer her up, always saying she was good at what she did, even at times when she royally screw things up. "And I miss you too, terribly"

" _Well then solve that case and come home"_ Alex pleaded.

 "I will, soon" 

No matter how much she missed her house, her job and most importantly her friend, there was a deep part of her heart that didn't want to leave Ystad yet. Something stranger and foreigner to her and somewhere in the back of her mind two sets of blue-ish green-ish eyes were staring back at her. She could recognize them immediately and she surprised herself by the sudden feeling of caring.

 _"Ok so I gotta go because the boss is giving me a hard look. I'm supposed to be filling out a bunch of reports now. I hate this day already"_. Alex complained _"bye sweetie. Don't do anything crazy, alright?"_

"I won't"

_"And send me a picture of that guy you're working with. I'm eager to meet him"_

"Bye Alex, go back to your papers" Lydia speaks smiling at the picture she had of Alex's angry face. 

_"Bye...evil woman"_

She laughed and hangs up the phone to then jump on her bed, not even caring to take off her clothes exhausted even to do the smallest tiniest exercise. She didn't notice how tired she was until she couldn't think straight anymore and her world turned black.  
  
 _She looked at the dark sky before her from the passenger sit. Even if the exterior was quite illuminated, she could still see a few stars above her. The clear sky of New York looked as beautiful as ever. She wished she could enjoy it more but she rarely had the time, being too busy and caught up with work to take a minute and breathe in her surroundings.  
Even now, at almost midnight she was busy with work. She loved her job but at the moment she wished she wouldn't have to let herself be dragged by her partner to a lost and dark street and be at home eating her forgotten cup of vanilla ice cream._

_She sighed and took a look at the man behind the wheel. His handsome face was focused on the road before him, deep in concentration. His short brown hair was messy for the many times he ran his hand through it; still he looked like a sweet little boy. There were small dark circles forming around his eyes, clear sign of lack of sleep and tiredness (even if he wouldn't tell). His head turned briefly towards her, a smile forming on his lips, blue eyes shining with something she could describe as love. It made her heart jolt with joy._

_"As soon as this is over, we're going home" he spoke, reached for her hand to intertwine their fingers._

_"We could have done this in the morning, you know? With back up" she speaks, squeezing his hand slightly. She was scared, because it was late and they were actually dealing with a gang. She liked to have the security of calling for his friends in case something happened, but they were off duty and unsupervised. If something happened was up to them._

_"Jonah said he would only speak to me, if he sees a badge or an rp he will freak out and he's the only lead we have" he explained, thought he was right it did not ease her fear. "Everything will be fine, don't worry baby"_

_She would have believed him, but ten minutes later things went off track._

_Two bangs_

_That was all it took._

_There were yelling, people shouting for help, people running towards her. She felt the cold concrete floor beneath her, something pouring from the left side of her torso and then pain. So much pain._ _  
She crawled towards the man lying next to her, his eyes closed, blood soaking his white T-shirt._

_"Darrick..." Her voice was hoarse from the pain, reached for his pulse...there was nothing "Please...open your eyes"_

_Nothing_

There was nothing.  
  
She jolt on the bed, looking around her at the strange room, hand to her chest to calm her erratic heart. It takes her a minute to recall where she is and when she does tears ran down her pale cheeks. The dream, the memory was so vivid even the pain from her wound seems to be hurting. She could touch the blood, his blood, and could hear the sirens and someone pulling her away from her lover’s dead body. 

Reaching for the necklace around her neck, she wipes away the tears and says a silent prayer. For a minute she wishes she could forget, but the guilt and the pain are a constant reminder of what she lost and she knows she would never be able to truly let go.  
  
 **Tbc**


End file.
